the one that got away

As you can see, I met the Chapman Brothers!

The visit to the frieze exhibition was a strange affair: when approaching the show you could smell money - limousines everywhere and gold and diamonds dripping of line stretched necks - how do you make a chicken neck look glamorous? anyway....

I had the painting in a rucksack and along with my printed flyer's entered the 'tent'. Security was tight - earpieces, walkie talkies etc.

I passed a group of people carrying placards - "where do I smoke", "where am I?" - not to sure if this was a demonstration or performance art, they were being given instructions on how to walk etc. let them got on with it thought, I have my own fish to fry.

Initially, I was informed that I couldn't take my rucksack in with me (should have bought D&G handbag!)

Removed painting and flyer's handed in bag and walked to the entry isles. (the painting at this stage was in a discreet Tesco carrier).

I was stopped and asked what was in the bag and then asked to explain why I was taking a painting in - was I an exhibitor? (not quick thinking here on my part)

"you can't take that in with you", so I explained etc. he called over big honcho security and informed me that I couldn't take it in, they would look after it for me. Smiles all round, trying a bit more blag, still no further. Ok, they could look after the painting. Before doing so I took out the flyer's - "are they flyers?" - after reading one he said that I couldn't take these in, they don't allow multiples in?? They are business cards.... you can take one in

This was getting hard work

OK I'll just take the one in.............. pulled out several and stuck in pocket (ha ha)

after 20mins finally got into the 'tent'

Found white cube stand to be informed that the 'bro's' weren't signing/defacing notes at the present time - looking around, not for the foreseeable future either, they had nicked off, done their stunt, they couldn't tell me when they would be back.

Had a look around - basic summary of work - poor, to much stuff trying to be art, trying to be controversial, many pieces were 8-9 years old.

Was I inspired - no

Did see anish kapoor - walked past him

Did get my photograph taken - don't know what that was about, but he did follow me for a while!!

Obviously, there are levels in the artworld and at this level there is little consideration for quality draftsmanship, skillful painting - image is everything.

Managed to slip a few flyers here and there, but generally all I wanted to do is get out and get some fresh air.

Upon exiting the place I was handed back my painting and flyers.

What to do with the painting?

Thinking about that, read a book recently - taking a fridge around Ireland, gives me an idea!!!